I’m getting married in a couple of weeks, and this last mile of walking has had a surprising side effect: impulsive spending. In the early planning phases, I was pretty tight.
I strayed from a potential venue because they failed to tell me in advance what the room rental would be. I ordered my dress online from a high street brand and used a discount code to bring the price down. I wondered if I should even bother with a cake.
That was less because of strict adherence to the budget – we keep things relatively small, so that the high costs are already manageable – than because of the general aversion to how much everyone would want to overwhelm you if you put the prefix “wedding” in front of you old harmless Noun.
Wedding flip flops. Wedding napkins. Wedding manicure. The moment I started looking at bridal items online, my targeted ads were flooded with the act and, in general, my reaction was to roll my eyes.
But now I’m a changed woman. I spend my evenings putting hair clips in my Etsy basket or scrolling through endless listings looking for my dream pair of comfortable, white, sturdy high-heeled shoes (reader: These shoes don’t exist).
After previously preventing myself from the price of a bouquet, the amount I’m willing to pay for the right one is skyrocketing, and I’m booking myself into beauty treatments that I didn’t know existed until recently . I feel like the groom in the second half of a Don’t Tell The Bride episode, running desperately through Trafford Center because I forgot to buy my fiancé’s shoes.
Why the U-turn? You could say I was gripped by the pressure. But a few more complex things happen here, too.
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Married to a new idea: Selfridges paves the way for retailers and other unexpected places to host weddings
One is that I realized how much a wedding is what you want it to be. That means, of course, that the couple can avoid any tradition they don’t want to follow. But it also means that there is a part of you in the back of your mind that wants certain things in order to feel “married”.
For some it’s a signature on a piece of paper, for others it’s a 200-person weekend party in a country house. Similar to looking for a home or dating, you may not really know what you want until you start looking. For me, getting married has been evolving for months as I figure out what it takes to feel like a bride. Do i need a veil? (no), a special car to arrive? (no) or a huge bouquet? (Yes)
While I still consider the wedding industry my enemy, I have accepted that there will be a few last minute issues. I don’t know which ones will make me happy that day and then forget, which add nothing to the whole experience and for which I will be forever grateful. As long as they are not too rude, I am happy to accept this uncertainty. After all, if all goes well, I only have to do this once.